After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
