there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
