i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
