I cockslap morals
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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