I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
