I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
