The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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