nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
