i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
