he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
The beer is more important than you right now.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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