We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We don't watch enough power rangers
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
