i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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