So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
