I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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