i jhust puked up my retainher.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
