Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
