Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
