Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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