I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
