just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
