Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
