If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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