but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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