imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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