you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
