Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
