I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
