I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
