My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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