Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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