I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
