this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
