A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
