she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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