idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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