whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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