the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
