I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He better not be in your backpack
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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