how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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