so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
