is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
