can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Drunk is not a location!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
