She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
