OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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