His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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