So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
