There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
