I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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