I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
So much rum. So many feels.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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