Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
