Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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